You can learn to accept yourself.

The ability to value all parts of yourself is called self-acceptance.You value the good parts as well as the parts you think need improvement.The process of self-acceptance begins with acknowledging the judgements against you and changing them so that you can be valued.It is important to shift your focus from judgement and blame to tolerance and compassion.

Step 1: You should acknowledge your strengths and attributes.

To give balance to the work you will do on accepting the parts of yourself that are less valued, you need to acknowledge your strengths.You may be able to change your conceptualizations about yourself by realizing your strengths.If it is difficult to think of your strengths, start by listing them.I am a loving person.I’m a strong mother.I am a painter.I am a problem-solver.

Step 2: List your accomplishments.

Make a list of your accomplishments and identify your strengths.These could include people you have helped, your personal achievements, or times of trouble.These examples can help place your focus on actions.Concrete examples will help you identify your strengths.My father’s death was hard on our family, but I am proud that I was able to help support my mother through the hardship.After 6 months of training, I crossed the finish line of a half-marathon.It was difficult to pay the bills after losing my job, but I learned a lot about myself and am in a better place now.

Step 3: Understand how you judge yourself.

Identifying areas where you are critical of yourself is helped by recognizing your own judgement.Being overly critical when you create areas or find attributes of yourself is not good for you.Shame or disappointment can squash self-acceptance.Write a list of negative thoughts about yourself.I will never be able to do anything right.Something must be wrong with me because I always take others’ comments the wrong way.I am too fat.I am terrible at making decisions.

Step 4: You should be aware of how other people’s comments affect you.

When other people make comments about us, we internalize them and use them to make our own opinions about ourselves.You can start to rethink how you see yourself if you figure out the root of your self-judgements.If your mother criticized your looks, you might not be very confident about them now.Her criticisms were based on her own fears.You can rethink your confidence once you realize this.

Step 5: Don’t think negatively when you’re thinking.

Quieting your inner is when you know the specific areas of your life for which you are most critical.As the negative thoughts come up, practice catching them.If you catch yourself thinking, “I’m such an idiot,” ask yourself if it’s a kind thought.Is this thought good for me?Would I say that to a friend or loved one?Your inner critic is speaking again if these answers are no.

Step 6: Take on your inner critic.

Challenge and quiet this inner critic when you find yourself thinking negatively about yourself.Prepare with a positive counter-thought.You can use the strengths that you have identified.If you catch yourself saying, “I’m unintelligent,” change the thought into a kind statement: “Although I may not know this topic, I am intelligent in other ways and that is okay.”I know that my talent or expertise is in another area, and I am proud of that.I know you are used to saying that I am not intelligent, but that is not true.I am learning that I have the strength of intelligence in specific ways.You are learning to change your thoughts about yourself.

Step 7: Focus on self-acceptance first.

Accepting yourself as you are in the present is self-acceptance.In order to accept the self in the future, changes need to be made.The areas that want to be valued as they are now should be identified.You can decide if you want to improve them in the future.You might want to lose some weight.If you want to lose weight, start with a self-acceptance statement that says you are beautiful and you feel good.You can say, instead of thinking, “I am not the ideal body shape, and when I lose 20 pounds I will be beautiful and feel good,” I would like to be healthier and have more energy.”

Step 8: It is possible to change expectations of yourself.

You are setting yourself up for disappointment when you set unrealistic expectations.This will make it hard to accept yourself.You should shift your expectations of yourself.You can say, “I am so lazy.”Change your expectations to say, “I made dinner for the entire family.”The kids can help clean the kitchen tomorrow.

Step 9: You can learn that you are compassionate.

Self-compassion is the bedrock of self-acceptance and it may seem odd to say that you will create compassion for yourself.You are deserving of this understanding and kindness, because compassion is the sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress with a desire to alleviate it.Affirming your own self-worth is the first step.It’s easy to let others’ thoughts, feelings, opinions, and beliefs dictate our self-approval.If you want your approval to be the decision of others, make it your own.Don’t need it from others to approve yourself.

Step 10: Affirmatives can be practiced daily.

Positive statements are meant to encourage and be uplifting.This method can be used to help build self-compassion.It is easier to forgive your past self if you have compassion for yourself.Affirmations help to change your inner critic.It is possible to build compassion by telling, writing or thinking.Affirmations include, “I am able to get through tough times; I am stronger than I think.”I make mistakes and am not perfect.I am kind and thoughtful.Take a break.If you are having a hard time accepting a part of yourself, take a moment and be kind.Judgement of yourself can cause pain and self-judgment can be too harsh.Practice self-affirmation and remind yourself to be kind.If you think, “I am not the ideal body shape; I am fat,” acknowledge that these are unkind thoughts and you wouldn’t say them to a friend.They make me feel like a failure and worthless.

Step 11: Practice forgiveness.

It is possible to reduce feelings of guilt from your past by practicing self-forgiveness.You might be judging your past based on unrealistic expectations.Giving yourself up will allow you to build a new, more compassionate and accepting view of your past.Our inner critic may not allow us to forgive ourselves for the past.Carrying around guilt is unkind to ourselves.Take notice of the guilt you may have.If there were external factors involved in the situation, try to evaluate them.We hold on to our feelings of guilt when events are out of our control.If the actions were out of your control, you have to forgive.The exercise of writing a letter can be used to start the process of self-forgiveness.Use a kind, loving tone and write a letter to your younger self.It’s a good idea to remind your younger self that you may have made mistakes.You know that you are not perfect.Valuable learning opportunities are offered by our mistakes.It’s a good idea to remind yourself that you don’t know how to do that in that moment.

Step 12: Guilt thoughts can be turned into gratitude statements.

You can think about your past in a productive way if you remember that you learn from past mistakes.Accept that mistakes are a part of life and practice being thankful for what you have learned.Your past guilt or shame won’t stop you from accepting yourself in the present.To make a gratitude statement, write down the guilt phrases/thoughts you have.I was horrible to my family in my 20s.I acted that way because I was ashamed.It has been helpful in raising my own children that I learned about behavior at that age.I tore apart my family because I couldn’t stop drinking.I am grateful that I can try again in the future.

Step 13: Loving people is what you should surround yourself with.

You may have a hard time accepting yourself if you spend a lot of time with people who don’t compliment you.It will be harder to convince yourself that you have strengths when people are critical of you.Spend time with people who love you.You will get a boost from these people.

Step 14: See a therapist.

There are layers that may be preventing you from accepting yourself.This person can help you understand why you think certain things about yourself.He can help you come up with ways to talk with yourself.

Step 15: Establish boundaries.

You may need to set boundaries with people who are critical or not supportive when you interact with them.Talk to these people to understand how their comments can be offensive.If your boss always criticizes your work, you can say, “I feel like I don’t get enough support with my project.”I want to do good work, but it is hard to please you.We need to work on a solution that will work for both of us.