Tell someone you are not interested.

The hardest part of dating is telling someone you don’t want to go out with them.You probably feel uncomfortable telling them you aren’t interested if they’re asking for the first time or you’ve shared a few dates.You have a right to do what you please, so be honest and direct about how you feel.

Step 1: Tell them you like what they are doing.

Some of the sting from the rejection can be taken out by this.It is not necessary for you to give them an elaborate thank you.You can convey that you are appreciative of the thought with a single sentence.If they’re making you feel uncomfortable, you don’t have to thank them.You don’t want to tell them that their behavior is okay.

Step 2: Give them a clear rejection.

It is tempting to be vague about how you feel in order to spare their feelings, but this will be worse in the long run.You will likely have to reject them again in the future.You could say, “I don’t see you that way,” or “That’s not something I’m interested in.”

Step 3: They should not apologize for turning them down.

You don’t owe anyone an apology for how you feel.It seems like you are pitying them, which can hurt their feelings more.Just say, “I’m not interested in dinner, but I really appreciate the offer.”

Step 4: Don’t try to make them friends with you.

It’s difficult to let go of a friendship if it develops feelings for you.Sometimes you want to be friends with someone who isn’t interested in dating.It can be cruel to maintain a friendship.It is up to them to decide what is best for them.You could say, “I hope we can still be friends, but I understand if you need your space.”

Step 5: Don’t make excuses when you reject a stranger.

If the person is someone you just met, excuses can be useful.You can get caught in a lie if you use an excuse.If you want to use an excuse, choose one that doesn’t leave room for arguing, and exit the conversation as soon as you can.It is possible to give an excuse if a stranger asks you out in public.If you have mutual friends with the same person, giving them an excuse might come back to bite you if they talk to your friends.It is better to be direct.Excuses include, “I am not ready to date anyone right now, I am seeing someone, or I just got out of a relationship.”

Step 6: If you can, plan out what you are going to say.

Knowing what you want to say will let them down nicely.The most important issue is the reason why you don’t want to be with them.Consider how you can let them know about the issues.It’s possible that you don’t feel attracted to the person physically.It is not possible to tell them all of the things you don’t like about them.You could say, “I just don’t feel any chemistry,” or “That spark is missing.”You could say, “I feel like we don’t communicate the same way.”

Step 7: Give them a compliment to start the conversation.

It is a good idea to say something nice, but don’t tell them how great they are.They may wonder why you don’t want to see them anymore.Your words might seem hollow if you reject them after telling them how wonderful they are.Give them a compliment like, “You planned such a fun first date,” or “I really enjoyed talking to you about movies because you’re so insightful.”

Step 8: You should thank them for the dates.

They put in a lot of time to get to know you.It shows them that you are thinking about their feelings even though you might hurt them.You could say thank you for the dates.I like getting to know you.

Step 9: Tell them that things aren’t working for you.

It is up to you if you want to give something that isn’t working for you.You could simply state that you didn’t click with the person.If you have gone on a few dates, it might be helpful to give them a more specific reason.I don’t see this relationship going anywhere while I had fun.We don’t seem to be on the same path in life because we have different goals.

Step 10: Listen.

They may not feel the same way as you do.If you want to keep dating them, you should not allow them to share their thoughts on the issue.Rather than acknowledging how they feel, restate your intention to break things off.You could say, “I can understand why you want to go on another date, but that’s not right for me.”

Step 11: There are reasons why you don’t want to date them.

Being honest with someone doesn’t mean being cruel.There is no reason to tell someone what you don’t like about them.It will make your rejection worse.You might feel like telling them why you broke up with them will help them improve themselves.It is not your place to tell someone who they should be.You might be attractive to someone else because you have different preferences.