It can be difficult to overcome shyness in a new relationship.Don’t despair!As you grow together and become more comfortable with each other, it will fade away.The beginning of a relationship can be difficult.How do you get to the place where you feel comfortable?There are a few things you can do.
Step 1: There is a difference between shyness and low self-esteem.
People who are shy are happy with themselves and have good levels of self-confidence.Don’t think that because you’re shy, there’s something wrong with you.Your shyness is part of why your partner chose you.Even if it is something you want to work on for your own sake in the relationship, remember that you can be confident and powerful even if you are shy.Don’t apologize for being shy.Don’t give anyone the impression that you owe them extroversion if you explain why you’re reacting the way you are.
Step 2: You should be upfront about your shyness from the beginning.
Studies have shown that talking about shyness can reduce the effects of it, and experts suggest that showing vulnerability is a good way to increase trust and intimacy between partners.It’s very important to have a conversation about your shyness at the beginning of a new relationship, as this will pave the way for easier conversations down the road that will make your relationship a lasting one.There is nothing to be ashamed of, so be open and honest about how you are feeling.Don’t be afraid to deal with your feelings later.Tell your partner how you are feeling.Don’t dwell on your shyness; get it out in the open and move on to another topic when you feel better.If they try, let your partner comfort you.
Step 3: Don’t rush a young relationship.
Even if you know that you struggle with shyness, you can still put extra pressure on yourself to make a relationship work.If you want to keep yourself happy, instead of trying to connect with your boyfriend or girlfriend all the time, take enough time with yourself and with the friends and family you feel comfortable with.It’s better for your relationship to work out when you’re happy.
Step 4: Through technology, you can get to know your boyfriend or girlfriend.
It’s face-to-face interactions that cause shy people the most anxiety, but they can communicate by text or the internet more easily.Most new couples don’t spend all their time together anyways so keep in touch through texting, Facebook, and other methods of communication that will let you establish a relationship and get to know each other without all the anxiety of seeing the person in the flesh.
Step 5: Going on practice dates is a good way to practice for a new relationship.
If you find yourself seizing up with shyness when out on dates with your new boyfriend or girlfriend, try going through the steps of a date without the pressure of being around someone who makes you nervous.If you want to go on a date with someone you’re comfortable with, ask a platonic friend or relative.Pick them up, go to a restaurant, have a nice conversation, and go through all the steps.It is important to remember that it is all old hat when you are on a real date with your partner.
Step 6: Before the event, plan out important conversations.
It can be difficult to have very personal conversations when you are trying to get to know someone.When you’re first getting to know each other, you have to open up about your hopes and dreams, as well as your fears and shames.You should plan out the big conversations you will have with your partner so that you are prepared when they come up.It will be easier for you to open up if you have a script in your head.List your fears, hopes, and other feelings.Explain the rationale behind your side of the argument.It’s a good idea to anticipate what your partner will say.The better prepared you are, the more effective you will be at communicating.
Step 7: Allow your partner to talk as much as they want.
If your significant other wants to talk, let them and practice being a good listener.It will allow you to learn more about your significant other and deepen the connection between you.It will take some of the pressure to come up with something interesting to say about you.
Step 8: The topics should be ready for the small-talk.
If you can’t think of anything to say to your partner, then do a little bit of work.To ensure that you always have something new to bring up when you are together, watch the news, read books and magazines, and keep up on pop culture, whether it is music, movies, or graphic novels.
Step 9: Say “yes” a lot.
If you want to do something with your partner, you need a few moments to be comfortable enough to say yes.It is possible to accept a phone call immediately instead of waiting for it to go to voicemail and call back.Push yourself into situations that are outside of your comfort zone.Don’t rush!Start small and work your way up, like on a romantic vacation.
Step 10: You should go on low-pressure outings.
If a fancy dinner makes you nervous, lower the bar.You don’t have to make a one-on-one connection on a date, but you can enjoy yourselves together in a more public setting.Depending on what you like to do, you can go to a sporting event, a museum, or a movie or theatrical production.
Step 11: To relax, breathe deeply.
In a relationship, you are expected to be very open and intimate with your partner, as shyness often comes with a lot of anxiety about being in social situations.It can be difficult for a shy person.If you feel yourself tensing up around your partner, do a simple relaxation exercise to calm yourself down and put you in a better frame of mind.If you want to control your breath on the way out, take a deep breath and hold it for a count of four.Continue until you overcome your anxiety.
Step 12: You should make eye contact with your partner.
If you have a shy partner, it is perfectly acceptable and even desirable to avoid eye contact.The eyes are an important tool for communication, so rushing into a lot of eye contact might feel draining.For longer periods of time, make eye contact more and more frequently.It is too intimidating to look into your partner’s eyes if you practice on pictures and images with your parents.Even if you don’t make eye contact, looking in the vicinity of your partner’s eyes will still be comforting.When you listen, it is easier to make eye contact than when you speak.
Step 13: Don’t cross your arms and legs.
When you cross your arms over your chest or legs, your body is telling those around you that you are trying to close yourself off.Keeping your body open is a conscious decision.Put your hands at your sides.Push your shoulders back.
Step 14: You can mirror your partner’s facial expressions.
It doesn’t mean that your partner needs to feel alone when they speak with you, even if you’re shy.In a conversation, you can register the same emotions the speaker is having in a given moment.If your partner smiles or laughs, you should do the same.Register your worry on your face if they are discussing something concerning.This will make sure that you are still engaged with your partner.
Step 15: Give feedback when listening.
Even if you are not very verbal, there are many ways in which you can interact with your partner, giving the impression that they are more interested in you than they actually are.Smiling or laughing is one way to engage in a communication.
Step 16: Lean forward.
People with shyness often want to create more physical space between themselves and others, but in a relationship, your partner might feel as though you are not engaging with them.You can create a more intimate, secure mood in your relationship by leaning forward and closing the distance between you.