When a deep emotional attachment is created with someone outside of your relationship, it consumes your every waking thought and action.This type of affair involves sharing deep secrets and wishes, innermost thoughts, and a transference of the intimate connection you’d normally have with your partner or spouse to someone else.It can begin innocently, at a time when you feel things aren’t quite right with your current love and you decide to pull someone else in to play a role you think is missing in your partner.It is more difficult to get out of an emotional affair than it is a sexual affair.If you realize you need to end your emotional affair, breaking the pattern is essential to restoring your partner’s trust and faith in you.
Step 1: Understand what an emotional affair is.
Sexual relations are not involved in an emotional affair.It is not appropriate for a non-marital relationship to have thoughts, emotions, and often behaviors.Without sexual infidelity, some argue that a relationship is not really an affair.This type of relationship can be just as damaging to a marriage as a physical one.The healthy bond between spouses is threatened by one spouse investing time, affection, and attention to a “friend” which really should be spent with the spouse.
Step 2: There are feelings that indicate an affair.
An emotional affair has the same emotions as an extra-marital affair.An emotional affair means you have formed a strong emotional bond with another person.There may be a lot of love between the two people.When a relationship crosses healthy boundaries, the person having the affair may feel guilt for the amount of time spent away from the partner/ spouse, and doing activities that really should be spent.The person having an emotional affair may “over-share” intimate or sensitive information about the romantic partner, and this information may violate boundaries, privacy and so on.In a slightly different type of vulnerability, the emotional affair can avoid having difficult conversations or dealing with issues that don’t solve the problems.The romantic relationship is in danger because of the emotional affair.
Step 3: Dishonesty:
Lying about the person you are having an emotional affair with is one of the ways emotional affairs can lead to.When assessing what is happening with respect to this third wheel, be honest.You already know that there is an element of cheating involved with the other person.Facing this squarely may be very difficult but some of the things to help you realize you’re skating on thin ice include: You know the level of depth of intimacy and connection with this person has become inappropriate.Your commitment to your partner is at risk if someone else is knowledgeable about the lives of the two of you.
Step 4: The emotional attachment started in the first place.
If you want to move past it, you need to understand why you are in an emotional affair.There is something wrong with your marriage or relationship if you have emotional affairs.You don’t have the strength to resist if you find an issue with your current relationship or if your emotional affair partner is manipulating you.
Step 5: The need to have emotional affairs might be caused by your own emotional damage.
If you don’t deal with the underlying issues, you may fall prey to another emotional affair later on.An inability to take criticism are some of the underlying emotional hurt that might cause you to fall into emotional affairs.If you see almost everything your partner says as a criticism because you always need positive feedback, you might wander.Any form of psychological trauma or long-term hurt not dealt with through therapy or other suitable help can sometimes lead to escapism behavior, such as getting involved in emotional affairs, rather than dealing with the deeper underlying issues.One way to break the cycle is to get help from a professional therapist.Not everyone finds therapy useful, but acknowledging and finding some form of facing your emotional demons is a good start to getting emotionally well again.
Step 6: It is unfair to everyone involved in an emotional affair.
It’s easier to break off an emotional affair when you know this.If you had an emotional affair with your partner, put yourself in their shoes.If I were put in that position, would I be happy?An emotional affair is unfair to the person you are having it with.This person is just filling a hole in your relationship, without any of the perks of a real relationship.The affair is not fair to your partner.Faith, trust and long-term attentiveness are required in your marriage or relationship.You can either accept or move on if you consider that your spouse or partner is unwilling to meet this need.If your spouse or partner is unable to connect with you emotionally, it’s unfair to him or her to stay while you’re leaking energy outside of the relationship.The affair is unfair to you because you’re splitting your consciousness into different sections, alienating them from each other.Rather than deal with the pain of being with someone who is not there for you emotionally, you’ve decided to try to have your cake and eat it too; it’s a situation that can end up deeply scarring everyone involved.
Step 7: Consider your relationship with your spouse or partner.
Is it rock solid under it all?Have you been under a lot of pressure lately and been trying to cope, downplaying how much pain this can cause your partner?The most pressing action you need to take is to end the emotional affair immediately.Accept that relationships don’t happen on their own.They all need work throughout the relationship.The sooner you accept this, the better.
Step 8: This is going to be difficult.
Sexual affairs tend to last less than emotional affairs.With extra-marital sexual liaisons, emotional intimacy tends to stoke the fires of desire and keeps the interest peaked rather than any gradual decline in excitement that is often the case.”what if?” is always a question.There is a temptation to imagine that the two of you will spend the rest of your lives together.The deep connection can make it harder to break up.If you have secret ways of keeping in touch, the temptation will be high at first.Accept that this isn’t going to be easy.If you’ve made a decision that your spouse or partner is worth stopping this unfaithful dalliance, that’s a price you need to be willing to pay.
Step 9: Break it off with your feelings.
A quick break is often better than a drawn-out affair if you’ve decided to break it off with the person you were intimate with emotionally.Tell the person why you’re ending the affair.Be brave and talk to him or her in person, explaining your well-rehearsed and considered reasons for ending the fling you two have been having.I enjoy being with you, but the relationship we had was not fair to me.If this feels strange, I take full responsibility for what I did.If you no longer want to be friends, I understand.There will be more to say and respond to if this person is in person.Be prepared for the possibility of tears, indignation, or even an insistence that he or she has never thought that there were overstepped boundaries.To reiterate that you have feelings for the other person, it’s important to be honest and to stick to your feelings.
Step 10: The situation was created by the lack of integrity and honesty within you.
Without any of the other elements that come with a healthy relationship, your emotional lover may have sustained some lasting damage.Don’t allow guilt to overcome you, but use this opportunity to grow.If you haven’t dealt with some of the deeper issues yet, seek help from a therapist.If you allow yourself to be subsumed by other people, you will not be able to live a happier, more whole life.
Step 11: Discuss the issues that the emotional affair brought up with your partner.
If you decided to end the emotional affair and rededicate yourself to the relationship with your partner, it might be a good idea to address the issues that caused you to seek emotional solace in the first place.What aspects of the emotional affair did you like?What can you do to get better communication between you and your partner?”I’d like to talk to you about how we can improve our communication.”I really value this relationship, and I love you, but I think we can improve how we communicate.What do you think?Try to improve the relationship if you ask your partner if there are any issues.When your partner withdraws from a relationship, you look for emotional satisfaction somewhere else.You could find your own needs met if you improve some of the issues that are bothering your spouse or partner.
Step 12: Write down what you have learned.
Get a journal and a pen and write in it.Write down your thoughts.Write down your thoughts.Take the time to write down what an ideal relationship would look like to you.To turn your current relationship into that vision, you must put in the same amount of effort as your partner.Don’t use escapist strategies to evade your emotional demons.Writing them down can help you understand what’s wrong.To feel like a more whole and healthy person, you need to be open and honest with your partner.Once your partner understands the emotional challenges you’ve been facing and can see how you construed his or her behavior toward you, he or she may turn into your best ally over this.
Step 13: Changing aspects of your relationship can make it better.
It’s time to make some changes in your relationship after having a discussion with your partner.One of the biggest things is distance.Maybe you felt smothered in your relationship.You will probably want to take some time for yourself.Maybe you didn’t see one another enough in your relationship.That would give you more time to see one another, go on dates, and just be together.If you’re only in it for the physical relationship, ask yourselves.Many people who engage in emotional affairs are satisfied with their sex life.A healthy sexual relationship is great, but not if it’s at the expense of a nurturing psychological and emotional relationship.
Step 14: Take some time to think about it.
If you’re unsure, hesitant, or just need a break, consider taking a temporary hiatus.Instead of putting the relationship on hiatus, just take a trip somewhere away from your partner to refresh your perspective.It’s important to take a break to give yourself a new set of eyes.We need to make it worthwhile because we only get one life.You may have to break up with the person if you decide that the current relationship is not working.It’s better to admit what isn’t working than to condemn the two of you.Ask yourself how you’re feeling.Are you sad?Is it guilty?Are you angry?Your feelings are valid and normal.