How To It is possible to resolve conflict effectively.

Conflict is more than a disagreement.A deep-rooted problem between two or more people dictates their attitude towards one another.There are many similarities between the resolution process and the conflict you have with another.It is necessary to meet and talk openly.If you want to understand the other’s position, you have to listen to each other.You have to come up with a compromise that leaves you both satisfied.

Step 1: Look for responses that are disproportionate.

A disagreement is not a conflict.If someone is more upset or angry than the situation requires, look at their behavior.They may have an internal conflict or source of stress.The two might have a conflict that needs resolving if their anger is directed at each other.You should be careful with this conflict so that it doesn’t get out of hand or even violent.It’s a disproportionate response to get very angry that your friend broke a plastic cup.If a behavior or past action upsets you deeply, you should think about your relationship with them.

Step 2: Think about the tension that exists outside.

You will always harbor ill will toward someone if you have a conflict with them.You may need to resolve a conflict if you are upset when they enter the room.It’s normal to try to hide your conflict with them.You should feel comfortable approaching them for reconciliation if there is a simple rivalry.

Step 3: Think about how others make you feel.

Humans view comments and actions relative to the person who said or did them.If you diminish the ideas or work of others without much thought, you may have a conflict with them.If you want to view their comments and contributions impartially, try to separate your relationship with them.If you see that a coworker writes a report that another coworker sends back for edits, look closer.You could help them address their conflict if they sat down and carefully read the report.Their perception of each other’s work is being colored by their relationship.

Step 4: Stay calm.

People with tempers will stop you from working through your differences.The goal is not to get revenge, but to make peace with one another.You should communicate respectfully with them and take some time to calm down.Discuss and resolve your conflict if you agree on a time and place.The goal of the conflict is not proving your point, so try to stay calm.Asking them to help you come up with a solution is another tactic.It may help you relax by taking some of the pressure off.Trying to resolve a conflict with tempers flaring is counter productive.You can discuss the issue calmly if you call a quick break.

Step 5: List your concerns.

Write down what you think led to the conflict before you meet the other person.Take personal history and personality out of the equation as much as possible.You need to think about the root of the problem.

Step 6: Allow the other person to speak.

You will still be able to make your points, but make sure to let the other person know their concerns as well.Don’t interrupt them, even if you disagree, because it will add to the conflict.It is important for each of you to figure out the conflict you have with the correct solution.Accepting each other’s differing views is at the center of this process.

Step 7: Ask questions.

If you don’t understand the other person’s point, ask him or her a follow-up question.It doesn’t seem like you’re being interrupted when you wait until there’s a pause in the conversation.This may turn your discussion into an argument if you ask sarcastic or hostile questions.Remember that they are entitled to their opinion as you are, if you find their answers or reasoning ridiculous.A good follow-up question would be, “when did you first notice I wasn’t returning your phone calls?”A combative follow-up question is “did you try one of the million other ways to get in touch with me?”This will make them even more defensive and offended, taking you away from a resolution to your conflict.

Step 8: Be imaginative.

Try to think of as many different solutions as possible.Before you meet, both of you should think through the conflict and begin your discussion.As long as emotions don’t get too heated, allow your discussion to flow in as many different directions as you can.You might have to give up on getting your way.The root of your conflict might be that your friend borrowed your car and nearly wrecked it.They may not understand why you are upset, and this has led to anger.If they ask first and drive safely, then you don’t mind if they borrow your car.

Step 9: Take breaks.

You can take as many breaks as you need if you feel like you’re getting too emotional.As soon as voices are raised, take as much time as you need.You may need time to think about their proposed solution.

Step 10: Don’t talk negative things.

Instead of saying things like “can’t”, focus on the positives.The conflict will be harder to resolve if the negative words are used.They don’t think about the solution.What you need the other person to accept is how you want to move forward.In the solutions phase of the conflict resolution, it is important to not tell the other person that you don’t like the way they borrow your car.Tell them that they need to establish some rules for using my car if they want to borrow it again in the future.

Step 11: You can agree on something.

It is not possible to resolve a conflict in one discussion.If you both agree on the conflict, you can come back to it later.It may take more than one discussion to resolve the conflict.You may disagree about whether it is unreasonable for someone to borrow their roommate’s car without asking.Agree that the traffic incident on your car was inconvenient for everyone.

Step 12: If you want to compromise, look for it.

In many conflicts, no one person is completely wrong, so try to find a compromise that both of you can be happy with.If you want to be the bigger person, try to find a resolution that will satisfy both of you.Don’t let this turn into a competition to see who can be more reasonable.An example of a compromise would be giving one roommate laundry room privileges on weekends and holidays, and the other on weekdays.If both of you want to do the wash at the same time, you can avoid future conflicts by alternating who gets to use the laundry machine.

Step 13: If you are the ideal mediator, think about it.

You could see yourself as a friendly shoulder to cry on.You may not be the best at mediation.Make sure you have an impartial relationship with both parties.Family members are the best at handling sibling disputes.Conflict resolution can be accomplished with the help of parents, siblings, or neighborhood friends.There are laws and policies in place to control workplace conflicts.The appropriate parties to resolve conflicts are supervisors or human resource personnel.Before acting as a formal or informal mediation, check with your company handbook.

Step 14: Get them together.

Tell the two parties that you want them to work through their differences.They can discuss their conflict at a certain time.They will not be able to talk about their feelings publicly until they are in a room with their intention.You may have to make suggestions if they don’t find a time themselves.If it is a workplace dispute, this will be easy.They are required to discuss their conflict with their supervisor if they are told that their work is suffering.It may be more difficult to get two friends in the same room to resolve a conflict.To help them talk through their problems with each other, the most straightforward way is to tell them.You might need to invite them to the same get together if the issue is too sensitive.This is a risky move.

Step 15: Take the lead.

You don’t need to control the entire conversation.You could say a few opening words to get them started.They should know that their conflict is obvious to an impartial observer.The reality of their conflict may be brought home by this implicit fact.You may need to explain more to children.Tell them why their conflict is harmful.Tell them how much fun they used to have.If you are dealing with a conflict between two friends, you can be more informal.Tell them that their conflict is upsetting and uncomfortable.They need to start talking.If you are involved in a workplace dispute, you may have a script or list of talking points.It’s a good idea to tell them that their conflict is affecting their performance.What is expected of you should be checked with your company policies.

Step 16: Both parties should have a chance to speak.

Allowing both parties a chance to air their grievances is the most important part of this process.If they are getting angry or hostile, try not to interrupt them.They are releasing tension and it is natural for them to show emotion.

Step 17: Listen to both sides of the story.

Keep an open mind.Giving one person less time to speak won’t solve the problem, even if you have an idea of who is in the right.You will not be able to come up with compromise solutions without listening to both sides.

Step 18: Allow for a discussion.

You are an impartial bystander after you state the purpose of the discussion.If the conversation gets heated or no one is talking, you can step in.This is an opportunity for them to talk, not you.

Step 19: If appropriate, take a side.

One side may be wrong.It can hurt one of the parties if you don’t acknowledge that they are in the right.Both parties are at fault for the conflict.The open recognition that one side was more in the wrong at the root of the conflict is what certain situations call for.You can point out that your friend was wrong to borrow his friend’s car without asking.

Step 20: Offer some compromises.

After hearing both sides of the conflict and allowing them to speak for themselves, offer options.Giving them options helps them pick the best settlement.The solutions should be logical, not based on your opinion.You can offer your friends solutions to the car dispute.You can stop loaning him your car.Make ground rules if you want to continue to loan him your car.You may not be able to solve their problem.If there is no easy answer to their problem, you don’t need to come up with a solution.If one person left their partner for another, you may not have an easy solution.Getting their feelings out in the open may be therapeutic for both of them.

Step 21: They should be encouraged to make up.

They should conclude their conflict resolution on a positive note.Encourage them to say that they are done with each other.They should pay attention to their emotions.When they are not ready, don’t force them to shake hands or kiss and make up.It may take them from being on the path to acceptance to anger.Don’t tell them to say they’re sorry.Asking them to make up should make them say they are sorry.When they are ready, many people will say the words ‘I’m sorry’.