It is good to have a small talk with your partner, but it is even better to sit down and chat with the person you love.It can be a little funny at first, but it gets easier as you practice.You can learn how to have deep conversations with your partner by reading these tips.
Step 1: It’s a good idea to have a quiet time to talk.
When your partner is not stressed or busy, find a time.It isn’t a good time for a deep discussion if you are rushing around doing things.If you are eating dinner at home or out on date night, you can have a deep conversation without distraction.If you don’t know if the time is right, ask if it’s a good time to talk.A park, your home, or even your car are all good places to talk.
Step 2: It’s time to get rid of distraction.
Turn off your phone and TV at the same time.Don’t let anyone else distract you from your partner.The better the conversation you two have, the more you can focus on your partner.Ask your partner to put their phone down.The more focused you are, the more productive the conversation will be.
Step 3: Start with basic questions.
It can take a while to get into the deep stuff.Asking basic questions, such as how your partner is doing or what work was like, will get you started.You can go deeper into something after that.Say something like “How was work today?”How are you doing? Did that presentation go well?I am aware that you had a hard week last week.
Step 4: Lead with a positive attitude.
If you start with a negative question, your partner will clam up.Pick a positive topic if you want to have a good talk.Go with the question, “Are you excited to see your family next week?”Isn’t you?
Step 5: Do you know anything about your partner’s life?
Talk more about how you are feeling.Ask your partner what they are stressed out about.It is a nice way to start the conversation.You can ask questions like: “How come work has been so hard lately?” or “Could you ever see us living somewhere else?”
Step 6: Discuss their past with your partner.
It is a good way to know more about them.Ask about their childhood, school years and family life.They could be asked about embarrassing memories or their oldest friend.You can ask questions like: “What’s your earliest memory?” “Who were you closest to in your family growing up?” and “Which friend have you known the longest?”
Step 7: Discuss things you don’t agree on.
Talk to your partner in a respectful way.If there is a topic that you don’t see eye to eye on, bring it up.You can get to know each other more if you remain civil and discuss things calmly.It might not be a good idea to bring it up if the topic makes you angry with each other.Even if you disagree with your partner, try to see their point of view.
Step 8: Asking open-ended questions is a good way to do it.
Asking your partner to elaborate will keep them talking.Tell them that you would like to hear more about it.There is an interesting conversation that doesn’t stop quickly.Ask questions like: “What did you think about that?” and “How did that make you feel?”Can you tell me more about that?
Step 9: Your stories should be shared.
A good conversation can go on for a long time.Feel free to tell your own stories as you chat.If you’re having a conversation, make sure your partner is done talking before you start.For example, if your partner just told you a funny story from high school, you might say, “That reminds me of the time I totally embarrassed myself in front of my entire junior year English class.”
Step 10: Don’t be afraid with your partner.
It is possible to make a deep connection if you open up on a personal level.If you share embarrassing moments with your partner, they will be more comfortable doing the same.The more vulnerable you are with each other, the better.Even if you haven’t been together for a while, you can still talk to your partner about things you’ve never talked about before.
Step 11: Making eye contact is a good way to practice active listening.
If you can angle your body toward your partner, they’ll know you’re interested.Don’t stare at your phone and look around the room a lot.If you want to keep your body language open, uncross your arms and sit straight.If you cross your arms, you may not be interested in the conversation.
Step 12: Say what your partner tells you.
Show your understanding of what they are saying.Try to say it in your own words if you aren’t sure you get it.If you’re not quite there, they can rephrase and you can try again.You might say, “So what I hear you say is that it was mostly good, but you struggled to get along with your brother.”