Being undeserving can cause you to miss out on the best that life has to offer.Feelings of unworthiness are common.You can fight against them and eventually see yourself as a deserving person.
Step 1: You have to admit it.
Tell the truth about how you feel.If you’re wondering how to feel more deserving, some of you have been operating under the impression that you areundeserving.If you can say that you are a worthwhile and deserving person, your current mindset is probably okay.You might be holding onto the belief that you areundeserving if you feel hesitation or disbelief.
Step 2: What do you think would make you undeserving?
Do you know what makes you soundeserving?These qualities don’t make you undeserving, but they should be what makes you feel like you are.Write your answers down and tell the truth.For instance, any dealing with your gender, race, or social class might be unhealthy.You need to be honest about the things that make you feelundeserving.
Step 3: Take a look at the cause of your belief.
You should ask yourself why you think certain qualities make youundeserving.This will require more investigation.The way you feel in the present is connected to incidents from the past.How long have you had feelings of unworthiness?You can identify the original source of your feelings once you realize how long you’ve felt it.Take a look at where your guilt started.Most of the issues will be connected to external force.It could have been something in your personal life that made you feel that way.
Step 4: Let go of the past.
It’s time to recognize that the past is behind us.Mistakes and missed opportunities are over and done with, so there is no reason for them to linger in your mind and prevent you from moving forward.Guilt makes self-compassion impossible if you want to view yourself as deserving as anyone else.It is possible to let go of past regrets and make up for something you did wrong.You may need to commit to the goal of being better in the present and future if there is no way for you to make amends.
Step 5: You should look around.
Take a realistic look at the lives of people who don’t deserve it.Do you think they are more deserving of good things than you are?Everyone else has more value at the time of their birth.A quick look at the news will show a lot of people who are successful even if they are well-known liars, cheaters or thieves.There is no reason to think that you don’t deserve to be happy.
Step 6: You can see yourself from an outsider’s perspective.
Become your own best friend instead of being a critic.Imagine talking to a loved one who has the same personality as yours.You would treat that person better if you treated yourself.Think of someone who supports you.If you want to support yourself through your undeserving feelings, ask that individual what they would say or do.Think of what you would do for someone you love if they were struggling with the same issues, then do it for yourself.
Step 7: Don’t make comparisons.
The accomplishments of one person can’t be compared to that of another.There is no reason to think that things someone else has achieved are things you should have achieved as well.Don’t compare yourself to others.Look at how far you’ve come, and focus on your accomplishments.
Step 8: Reality and fiction should be separated.
It is possible that your expectations are not realistic.You will always fall short of your goals if you maintain a perfectionist attitude.You will always feel like you aren’t good enough.You may never be able to forgive yourself if you don’t adjust your standards.It is possible that you need to let go of the standards others have set for you.
Step 9: You should remove the sense of selfishness.
When someone else doesn’t have it, you might think, “What makes me deserve this?” but there will always be want in the world.It does not mean that others don’t deserve the same thing.Feelings of deserving have nothing to do with your view of others.It simply means that you honor your own needs.You will feel more energetic if you feel deserving to take care of yourself.Excess energy can be used to address the needs of others.Allowing yourself to feel deserving can make you a less selfish person.
Step 10: Tell your inner critic to stop.
If you see a destructive or demotivating thought in your head, tell yourself to stop.Press on if the negative thought is corrected with a positive action.There are destructive thoughts that attack your worthiness.”I have no talent, I’m ugly,” are some of the thoughts included.When these types of thoughts enter your mind, speak the command to stop.You can shout “stop,” or you could say something like “calm down,” “don’t go there,” and so on.To stop your thoughts from sinking back down, you need to divert your energy to some constructive activity.
Step 11: You can learn to motivate yourself.
You will not be able to take the necessary first steps if you aren’t motivating yourself.The lack of forward motion can make you feelundeserving and less motivated.Break the cycle by learning how to use it.Try to remember the benefits of certain tasks.Write the benefits down and post them in a spot you will see daily.Refocusing your energy on your goals or activities will make you feel better.Even if you initially feel undeserving of the privilege to pursue them, these types of tasks can be easily pursued.
Step 12: You have positive qualities.
You can be proud of two to four positive qualities by taking a few minutes each day to write them down.These characteristics don’t need to be huge.A larger list of positives can have a bigger impact than a short list.One positive is that you were able to listen to a friend’s problem earlier in the day.It’s possible that you had the will to make a healthier food choice at lunch than you were tempted to do.
Step 13: You have to do the right thing.
You need to force yourself to do the right thing no matter how hard it is.Behaving in a way you know to be wrong will cause your conscience to haunt you, and the resulting feelings of guilt will prevent you from feeling deserving.It is important to treat someone with respect.If you are able to recognize the innate worthiness in other people, you can begin to see how that same sense of deserving can apply to your life.
Step 14: You need to step out of your comfort zone.
Try something new.You should move in a direction that is positive.You will probably have a few successes and failures.Succeeding at something you never did before can serve as a strong confidence booster.Try to keep your expectations to a minimum.Setting the bar too high can make you feel undeserving if you don’t meet your goal, but lowering it too much can cause you to believe that you are incapable of achieving anything greater.Regardless of what you try, focus on the experience of seeing it through and not on what may come of it.
Step 15: Spend time with people who are supportive.
Affirm toward people who support you and make you feel better off than if you don’t.The people who treat you with respect send a message.The message can sink in if you put yourself in that environment a lot.Unsupportive people will always send a message that you are incapable orundeserving.Spending too much time with these people will only make you feel worse.
Step 16: Don’t act before you’re sure.
Before you believe in yourself and your worthiness, you need to take your first steps.It is easier to believe that you are deserving when you act in a deserving manner.Start small by doing small things for yourself.If you want to visit someplace you’ve been wanting to go to, buy something nice for yourself or take the day off.You can begin to do more significant acts of kindness for yourself once you start practicing self-kindness.
Step 17: You should give yourself a daily reminder.
Take a moment each day to say that you are deserving.As you practice telling yourself that you deserve good things, you can become more comfortable with the practice of actually believing it.In front of a mirror is a good place to express this sentiment.The exercise may seem silly at first, but with practice it will eventually feel normal.When you do a good job, reward yourself by taking a moment to recognize it.