Drama with friends is not a good idea.

The source of happiness and support can be at the root of stress and drama in your life.To avoid drama with friends, it is important to evaluate all of your friends and make whatever changes are necessary, whether that means leaving behind toxic friends or confronting your own flaws.

Step 1: Take an inventory of your friends.

Do you know if any of your friends feel the same way about being listened to, admired, and sympathized with?Do you think they are pulling you down into their problems without helping you?Friends who are drama-prone might not be worth keeping around.Do you think the friendship is worth the time and effort?

Step 2: When you see warning signs, confront your friends.

These could include a friend talking behind people’s backs, acting rudely towards friends or family, or anything that makes you uncomfortable or upset.How do you feel after spending time with them?The biggest red flag is when you feel tired, stressed or upset.Tell them that they have been talking a lot about other people and that it has been bothering them.Is there anything you want to talk about?

Step 3: If you have to, leave toxic friends behind or limit your time with them.

It may be time to let the friendship go if a friend doesn’t respond to your attempts to help or change their habits.Say, “I value our friendship, but it’s become too difficult to overcome your negative vibes.”I need to focus on myself for a while, if you ever want to talk or change your outlook, I’m here.

Step 4: The focus needs to be on the positives.

If a friendship is worth keeping, the positives will outweigh the negatives.If you are upset with a friend, remember that they have been there for you, even if it is difficult, and remind yourself that you need to do the same for them.Don’t dwell on the little things that annoy you, like a friend who takes a couple of hours to text back or someone who is too busy to spend time with you.Unless these small issues become more serious, accept them as a part of your friend’s life and personality that aren’t worth getting upset over.

Step 5: You should be honest with your friends.

It is possible to be a constructive critic by gently letting your friends know when they are not at their best.If you want to avoid drama and hurt feelings, use your honesty with sensitivity and kindness.If a friend handled a situation poorly, say, “I admire you for not avoiding confrontation.”Try to keep a cool head, instead of letting other people get to you.

Step 6: As issues come up, air them out.

If you are upset by something your friend is doing, tell them as soon as possible, instead of letting the tension build up.If you are upset that a friend is avoiding you, say, “We haven’t been hanging out much lately and I miss seeing you.”Is everything okay?

Step 7: Don’t use social media to talk about problems.

Leaving an angry comment on Facebook is more likely to lead to online drama than resolve anything, and even texting and email have their limitations.To avoid miscommunication and hurt feelings, talk through problems face-to-face or over the phone.

Step 8: Confront your own weaknesses.

Everyone brings their own quirks to a friendship.Understand what makes you feel pain in a relationship.You might clam up and refuse to talk about it if your friend isn’t spending time with you or talking behind your back.You should be open about your tendencies with your friends.I know I have a quick temper and I am trying to work on it.I don’t want it to be between us.

Step 9: Even though it is difficult, own up to your mistakes.

Give yourself time to cool off and apologize if you are mad at a friend.Don’t let the anger hurt you.The source of the drama may be your friend’s action, but your reaction may not be helping.If you want to confront others about their tendencies, learn how to overcome your own.

Step 10: Don’t involve yourself too much.

It is best to stay out of issues that don’t involve you directly.Don’t let yourself getbogged down in the drama, it’s alright to offer your advice or act as a mediation.If two of your friends are fighting, agree to hear them both out and offer your advice, but don’t take sides.I understand where you both are coming from and you are upset.I want to help you both by telling you how I see it.

Step 11: Don’t focus on other people’s goals.

Keeping your own goals in mind is the best way to avoid drama.Take a moment to assess how much drama matters in the larger scheme of your life when you are tempted to get involved.It’s best to leave the situation alone.If a friend at work is spreading gossip about coworkers, you might jeopardize your job or even your ability to find a new position.If you remind yourself that this job is important in your career, you won’t be tempted to join in.Please politely but firmly ask them to stop gossiping.